Easter Hopes

He Is Risen!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
 My tribe  was especially blessed because we were able to see my best friend Mamaricecake 's son be baptized
 It was awesome.

Now my family has a long history of church stories.
They are not really what you are thinking. 
Some of you may be picturing angelic children
 holding the hands of the wisest elders in Holy union
as they make a joyous noise unto the Lord that caused  the Host of Heaven to weep.

Think again my friends.             Think again

My family history of unexpected , inappropriate yet hilarious moments is 4 generations strong.

The earliest one I can remember is of my great grandmother
 called Ma Ruth, my Nana, my mother and her siblings
 arriving to church late and literally busting open the door.
 Needless to say a few heads turned and
alas the only seating was in the front two rows.

Ultra convenient.

As if that wasn't enough ,my mother lost her earring
 in the pew bringing fits of laughter to her  cousin and sister .
Ma Ruth not so much.

There was as much shoulder shaking from holding in laughter as their were thigh pinches and stern looks.

There have been other incidents.
A small fire incident on Christmas Eve,
a child imitating the song leader
and a thunderous break of wind from Ma Ruth herself.

My all time favorite though has to be when we were
 visiting my mother's church in Houston.
 They normally have a children's sermon
where the children are gathered up front with the pastor to hear a short story.

When they called for the children up front
Mom and I both thought it was for the children's sermon.

As the children approached the alter
they were placed by height into 3 neat rows.

"That's different" my mom said.
 I just shrugged my shoulders and waved at my beauties!

Then the music minister stands up and starts directing the singing.

What  singing you ask?

The singing coming from all the children on stage!!!!

My mom and I freeze
and slowly look at each other as the uncommon rehearsed song pours out of the children's mouths.

My kids are puppy dogged eyed and mortified.

My mom and I can not stop laughing.

The song goes on Rollercoaster looks like she could melt into a puddle as quick as the wicked witch of the west . 

Happy Mouth is moving her lips and I think she is singing "Watermelon, watermelon, Jesus, watermelon."

Oh my gosh I now have tears pouring down my face!!
I can not look at my mom.

I can hear her trying not to laugh and she is sniveling like hyena with bronchitis.

People  are now starting to notice-
not my kids
but us.

We are so obnoxious at this point
that I am sure that the "I-got -it-together " informed parents are just flat pissed off.

About the time we calm down it gets better........

M poor babies, only age 6 and 4 ,
are at a total loss
 when the microphone gets passed to them!!!!!
 
I kid you not.
 They start passing the microphone down the row and each child says a part

I have now wet my pants and owe the church a pew cleaning.

Rollercoaster is handed the microphone.

She looks at it , looks  at me and shakes her head in a
"NO WAY TODAY " fashion.

She passes it on.

This only infects my mother with more uncontrollable hysterics.

Finally it is  Happy Mouth's turn--and she delivers-

Not only does she take the microphone but she sings-- LOUDLY

"Jesus, watermelon, Jesus, I love you, watermelon."

I can no longer see, my eyes simply won't open.

Someone eventually has to pull the microphone out of her hand!!!

The pint size choir finishes
and we are shot a look from Rollercoaster that is undeniably a death threat.

Oh my !! My abs are hurting from laughter just recalling that story.

But this Easter I added my own episode to the mix

Let me set the stage:  We were sitting in the balcony, slanted stadium style seating

As we were praising ,
I had my eyes closed and my hand lifted.

I must have moved forward without knowing
it because my right foot fell into
the gap between my flooring and the pew in front of me,.

I was so startled that I  let out  a "yelp".

 Nice high pitch "yelp"
Heads turned.


Thank goodness I didn't fall
thanks to the quick reflexes of Mr. Rodgers.
He grabbed my other arm just in time.

As I turn back to him he has this look on his face like

"What are you doing?"

I have seen this look before

Many, many times.
Many , many , many times......

It got me so tickled that I had to turn away.

Rollercoaster and Happy mouth are now staring at me.
Happy Mouth cracks a smile and tries to keep on singing.

Rollercoaster is just disgusted.

She has a look on her face that reminds me of a looney tunes character.

Sylvester the cat, the one always after tweety bird,
has a son who is vehemently ashamed of him and just wants to know
"Why oh why cant he be like other fathers?"

This is the look Rollercoaster is giving me.

She is thinking:
 "Why , oh why must every 11 seconds of my life be filled with the embarrassing truth that you are my mother?"

This only makes me laugh harder.

I can not sing,
I can not breathe
I can only scoot to the end of pew and run for the ladies room.

One in a million, one of a kind

Okay I love the fact that each of my girls has her own unique personality.


Sometimes I look at them together and think
 " How did these all come from the same womb?"
 (And I might add here the same loins of the father)

People often remark to me on how different they each are,
not just in looks but also in personality.

The oldest we know and have heard about often
(hey what can I say Happy Mouth provides me with plenty of material)

But Rollercoaster who has become a freshman this year is bit more of a Closed book
 with ever-changing covers.
 Once you think you have a clue-- BAM!!
 She has changed her ways (or her mood) again.

She recently has been a bit more of a mystery than usual.

And as an A+ neurotic mother
 I worry     prepare.

......about peer pressure,

about friends (who they are or lack of)

Worry  Prepare just to worry prepare.
 (It’s my job.   I mean 97% of what I worry  prepare for never happens
 --so it must be working right?)

Just stay with me here…..

There is a project at school against drunk driving since homecoming is coming up.

So Rollercoaster volunteers to

Get this…………………..

Get taken by the Grim Reaper!

Yes none other  than THE Grim Reaper, you know the death caller.

She is one out of 30 that can be taken by drunk driving.

Sobering thought. No pun intended.


The cause is good.
To have awareness about NOT screwing up your or someone else’s life
by being stupid and drinking on homecoming weekend.



So here is how it works

The school has 1 in 30 kids volunteer for this project.
 Rollercoaster of course jumps right in.

The Grim Reaper appears at the student’s door, says nothing
but holds up a sign with their name on it.

The student then gets up and follows the Reaper,
puts on  a black shirt that says

“Is it worth it?"

on the front.

And 1 in 30 on the back.

They wear THIS SHIRT ALL DAY and are not allowed to speak to anyone
 the rest of the day b/c hypothetically they don’t exist anymore.
This does give me shivers. It should you too.

The reality is horrific. http://www.car-accident-advice.com/statistics-of-teen-drunk-driving.html

Rollercoaster comes home and explains the scenario to me after school and exclaims

“It was awesome the Grimm Reaper came and had my name on a sign.

 I left, put my shirt on and didn’t talk to anyone all day.!!!!"It was Awesome!!!”


Awesome?
Really not being able to talk to anyone all day?

I would curl up and die and so would Happy Mouth

Not  Rollercoaster

My shy , maybe I will speak today- maybe I won’t - child.

She was on cloud 9, hog heaven, happier than a pig in mud!!

Yep!!! She promoted a good cause and got to do it by being virtually invisible

In Rollercoaster's world that is the stuff of legends!!!

Time keeps on slippin.....

Slippin'.....
Slippin'.........
Into the future.

Thank you Steve Miller Band.

I can't believe it has been almost four months since I have blogged.!!
It's such a shame really because so many wonderful things have happened and I have truly been
spot on with the funny!!

I am going to try to write everyday about something or someone
and not worry about making it spectacular .

I truly stress over the typing part b/c I'm a "looker of the keys" when I type
and I type so fast I am extra grateful for spellcheck!!

Just for the record I have not been
sitting on my hindquarters eating bon-bons.
(which I think I am entitled to as a Trophy Wife" and all)


I have sent off one daughter to Africa - without I might add, becoming an alcoholic while waiting for her return!! 
Gotten another through middle school successfully (snaps for bamammama)

I have been attending 6 Vball games a week and a tournament
every single weekend since the August plus a few Sball tournaments on a few Sundays.

 Throw in a few 100 practices, the beginning of school for Happy Mouth,
 Rollercoaster and Forrest , and my new teaching gig 3 times a week
 and you are starting to get a glimpse of the madness.

Add a dash of travel to help my mother, 2 college visits,
surgery consultations, doctor appointments
and the addition of 2 cats and you get what  my sister and I refer to as
"self inflicted stress" or "SIS"

So here I am on November 8th-Rollercoaster's B-day!!!



Mr. Rogers and Rollercoaster

She is 15 today!!! Can't believe it !!!!! 

That is how grown up she is , but in my heart I see this:



Tomorrow I will take her to get her drivers permit.
Soon she will be driving on her own.

She is actually interested in attending Alabama Math and Science High School.

She would have to live on campus.  That would make her away from home.

This would mean 2 out of 3 of my girls would leave home at the same time!!!
This is a whole nother story- but the point is

She is growing up. They all are.

And they will keep growing...........

and I will keep loving them.

Today is a great day

I can't freeze or rewind the time

but I can do today

I can do now

and I intend to do it well before it to

slips into the future.

Happy Birthday My Sweet One!!!

As I write this,  I am finally alone.   I am in the Best Western in Madison.

Yes we decided to "Stay a Spell"-- Thanks to a worthless alternator.

The family has gone swimming and I have decided to stay in the room just to hear the sound of

NOTHING.

Ahhh........

Diane and Terry did indeed have to run us to the next exit down or "into town" as we were told in order to find lodging for the night.
 Danny has towed our car to Jimmy who is now in charge of finding an alternator for  a Honda in Smalltown, USA on a Sunday.

We can all do the math here:

Broken car+Small town+Sunday= Stayin' a Spell

We have two choices The Best Western or The Days Inn , which is owned by Jimmy's family (of course it is).

We opt for the Best Western because it has a pool

 PLUS (bonus coming here)        THE:

Yeah!!!  The Waffle House!!!!

Where your eggs can get cooked by a convict!!!! Who Hoo!!

When I announced the Waffle House fine dining option  Rollercoaster's exact words were

"Were living Big now!"

That's the spirit I thought!!     L-O-V-E that girl!!