Stuff to know

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Back in the Blog

I am looking at my blog and the last time I posted was in April!!!!
  I am so bad  about stuff.
In my defense we do have a dinosaur of a computer that we restart at least 4 times a day.
I wish it would just spontaneously combust.  We cannot afford a new one.

In fact we cant afford anything.
We look so good on paper, we really do.
I really have no reason to complain just be concerned.
We are investing over half of our income per month in our children's education.
I'm banking on it paying off.

Happy Mouth is in college (and in love-much more to come on that)
Rollercoaster (who is getting a new name) is in private school
and Forrest is receiving private tutoring for some struggles.
And I am eating cardboard as a meal replacement plan......

I am grateful that we are able to do these things.
There was very little assistance (if any) for college.
Someone at the University of Alabama is definitely making "BANK" (so the new phrase according to Rollercoaster)

Private school was NOT on the books or the budget, but was a well reasoned request by Rollercoaster. And she is thriving.
Academically, Spiritually, Socially.
  It was a gamble and it is paying off
But the house always gets paid, so I am working two jobs.

Forrest needs some instruction and I feel we have found the right place-
 but its not the free place.
 Prostitution's not an option-- but neither is failure..
so  I am going to have to get creative on finances

The good new is I have a great computer at work
So lunch hour is looking like blog hour.. and hopefully some regular blogging.

After all our lives are too funny and when I'm old and senile I want to read about this great family that loved each other a whole lot , loved God and laughed often.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The days of my life

I'm feeling sassy, so I am delving into an area I normally don't
(except for the occasional let's debate with my DC cuz-but that's another story)


I am not about to shove anything down your throat or even directly express my opinion
I'm just going to tell you about "a day in my life"

In the past 24 hours I have done a few things

In the house:

I have made dinner, breakfast and lunch
 cleaned up a kitchen, swept 3 floors
Done 4 loads of laundry -all put up I might add
Shocked the pool, fed the cats, cleaned out my car
watered flowers

In my office:

I have called on a family member,
 checked my email,
 texted answers to emergency ?'s :
 is my blue shirt clean?,
can I have $5.00,
can you check me out I am so bored!!
what is for dinner?

you know the text that make me so glad I gave them phones

I have
signed permission slips
returned phone calls from schools,

I made financial decision:

booked a dorm room for my graduate
Looked at comforter sets,
started a to buy and budget for college
lowered the spending cash
planned meals and grocery budget
opened mail and gone over bills

and I have done a few more things too

Attended a board meeting
Made decision on a non profit endeavour
Delivered items to schools
Purchased water for fundraisers
Driven children to school and back

I have also done some things that don't really fit on a list but have great value when done over and over

I have watched my child do a first time thing at school- and excited to see her get out of bounds with herself. 
She was on the announcement!!  CNN will call any day!

I have nursed a headache from another child

Aided in homework and discussed plans for the future with another child

I have been busy raising children, sweet children I love

I have also gotten grouchy with my spouse (imagine....)
Held my tongue ( I surely have almost bitten it off) and gone through the cycle of
conviction and forgiveness

That takes lots of energy-believe me

I have taken my multi vitamins, ran 3 miles, and tried a new smoothie drink
I have read my Bible, read a chapter of a book, and called my mother

So what is the big deal about all this work, you say?

Okay here is the punch line:  I wasn't paid
not a red cent, no compensation package,
no tangible perks like a Vegas weekend  or a car allowance

I don't expect any of that .
 Knew it wasn't part of the deal.
I am good with that.

But you see this is one day of my life
The day with all that WORK in it and it is only 4 o'clock

So.......... what does this mean?

According to the latest political statements, this makes me "Ann Romney",

My life is filled with days "I never worked " in my life

and guess what I'm good with that too.

Told you I was feeling sassy!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Easter Hopes

He Is Risen!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
 My tribe  was especially blessed because we were able to see my best friend Mamaricecake 's son be baptized
 It was awesome.

Now my family has a long history of church stories.
They are not really what you are thinking. 
Some of you may be picturing angelic children
 holding the hands of the wisest elders in Holy union
as they make a joyous noise unto the Lord that caused  the Host of Heaven to weep.

Think again my friends.             Think again

My family history of unexpected , inappropriate yet hilarious moments is 4 generations strong.

The earliest one I can remember is of my great grandmother
 called Ma Ruth, my Nana, my mother and her siblings
 arriving to church late and literally busting open the door.
 Needless to say a few heads turned and
alas the only seating was in the front two rows.

Ultra convenient.

As if that wasn't enough ,my mother lost her earring
 in the pew bringing fits of laughter to her  cousin and sister .
Ma Ruth not so much.

There was as much shoulder shaking from holding in laughter as their were thigh pinches and stern looks.

There have been other incidents.
A small fire incident on Christmas Eve,
a child imitating the song leader
and a thunderous break of wind from Ma Ruth herself.

My all time favorite though has to be when we were
 visiting my mother's church in Houston.
 They normally have a children's sermon
where the children are gathered up front with the pastor to hear a short story.

When they called for the children up front
Mom and I both thought it was for the children's sermon.

As the children approached the alter
they were placed by height into 3 neat rows.

"That's different" my mom said.
 I just shrugged my shoulders and waved at my beauties!

Then the music minister stands up and starts directing the singing.

What  singing you ask?

The singing coming from all the children on stage!!!!

My mom and I freeze
and slowly look at each other as the uncommon rehearsed song pours out of the children's mouths.

My kids are puppy dogged eyed and mortified.

My mom and I can not stop laughing.

The song goes on Rollercoaster looks like she could melt into a puddle as quick as the wicked witch of the west . 

Happy Mouth is moving her lips and I think she is singing "Watermelon, watermelon, Jesus, watermelon."

Oh my gosh I now have tears pouring down my face!!
I can not look at my mom.

I can hear her trying not to laugh and she is sniveling like hyena with bronchitis.

People  are now starting to notice-
not my kids
but us.

We are so obnoxious at this point
that I am sure that the "I-got -it-together " informed parents are just flat pissed off.

About the time we calm down it gets better........

M poor babies, only age 6 and 4 ,
are at a total loss
 when the microphone gets passed to them!!!!!
I kid you not.
 They start passing the microphone down the row and each child says a part

I have now wet my pants and owe the church a pew cleaning.

Rollercoaster is handed the microphone.

She looks at it , looks  at me and shakes her head in a
"NO WAY TODAY " fashion.

She passes it on.

This only infects my mother with more uncontrollable hysterics.

Finally it is  Happy Mouth's turn--and she delivers-

Not only does she take the microphone but she sings-- LOUDLY

"Jesus, watermelon, Jesus, I love you, watermelon."

I can no longer see, my eyes simply won't open.

Someone eventually has to pull the microphone out of her hand!!!

The pint size choir finishes
and we are shot a look from Rollercoaster that is undeniably a death threat.

Oh my !! My abs are hurting from laughter just recalling that story.

But this Easter I added my own episode to the mix

Let me set the stage:  We were sitting in the balcony, slanted stadium style seating

As we were praising ,
I had my eyes closed and my hand lifted.

I must have moved forward without knowing
it because my right foot fell into
the gap between my flooring and the pew in front of me,.

I was so startled that I  let out  a "yelp".

 Nice high pitch "yelp"
Heads turned.

Thank goodness I didn't fall
thanks to the quick reflexes of Mr. Rodgers.
He grabbed my other arm just in time.

As I turn back to him he has this look on his face like

"What are you doing?"

I have seen this look before

Many, many times.
Many , many , many times......

It got me so tickled that I had to turn away.

Rollercoaster and Happy mouth are now staring at me.
Happy Mouth cracks a smile and tries to keep on singing.

Rollercoaster is just disgusted.

She has a look on her face that reminds me of a looney tunes character.

Sylvester the cat, the one always after tweety bird,
has a son who is vehemently ashamed of him and just wants to know
"Why oh why cant he be like other fathers?"

This is the look Rollercoaster is giving me.

She is thinking:
 "Why , oh why must every 11 seconds of my life be filled with the embarrassing truth that you are my mother?"

This only makes me laugh harder.

I can not sing,
I can not breathe
I can only scoot to the end of pew and run for the ladies room.

Friday, March 16, 2012

What to Believe Continued.......

I blogged earlier in the week about all the media attention and pending controversy around  the Kony 2012 campaign.

I came to my conclusion to focus on the words and instruction of Jesus.

After researching
increasing my confusion
and  my awareness of
the suffering of real people
I did not want o turn a blind eye
a deaf ear
or a lame foot
and then foolishly blame
my passivity on
 a organization that may or may not have it all together.

I am responsible for my actions.
 I am accountable for my answer to God.

This I remind myself in light of the recent controversy regarding the organization responsible for the Kony 2012, Invisible Children.

Today if you google Kony or Invisible Children  you get this article about one of  the co-founders caught in a public act of disgrace.

The story by all news accounts is accurate.
 What was the cause behind such actions ?
A spokesman for the group is claiming health problems. 

I really don't know of any health problems that make people publicly masturbate.
But you know maybe I just haven't researched Web MD enough.

I could go a lot of places with this one but I will try to stay on course.

My children had the privilege of hearing  a young man who lived in Uganda and was taken into Kony's army by force (LRA), lost his parents to the murderous actions of this army.  He spoke about being so little that he couldn't  carry the weight of the guns they trained him on.

That is nothing but pure evil. That needs to be stopped.

  He was helped by Invisible Children ,first in a refugee camp and then with a school scholarship to come to the United States.  What they did for this young man mattered.

But the lesson I am taking away from this is to watch your witness.

This one individual's action may prove to be the determent of the campaign.
His actions may prove to be accidental or exaggerated ( it could be a medical issue, right ? like as diagnosed by Dr. Suess maybe.)
Sorry--- my sarcasm is showing

But no matter what happens the damage is done.

Some who were thinking about getting involved won't

Those who weren't sold on the Invisible Children, but were stirred to
find out about Africa might change their mind

But I hope not .

I hope what we take from this is the fact that
no man , no organization, no cause , no political party, no ruler, or leader on earth
is infallible. 
No one is beyond temptation  and no one deserves to have us put all of our eggs in their basket



Only God is infallible. Only God can handle it all.
Only God can be counted on 100 percent.

So I hope that we learn two things from this:

Our witness matters and we need to be careful-
lots of eyes , believing and non-believing are watching and trusting us.

 We serve a huge and Mighty God who has all the instructions we will ever need in order to love and serve the world without excuse. 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Crisis Averted

Today could have gone better

Well there is an opener. 
The coffee was made and I successfully found it

It was a good start.

Beautiful weather here in Bama at a warm 74 degrees blue skies with occasional passing thunderheads.

So I decide I will stain the deck
I've been waiting for dry weather.

All was going well , except for our English Springer being a less than
helpful deck hand.

Let's just say she left her mark- paw that is on the wet deck boards.

What I am about to tell you is extremely valuable advice

If you ever get deck stain in your eye
DO NOT   and I repeat 
DO NOT  spray your offended eye directly with the kitchen sprayer--EVER!!!

This information will undoubtedly safe you from
irrefutable cornea damage.

You are welcome :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Coffee Hunting

Today was one of those days where  well
let me see how should I put this?

everything was a bit kaddywampus (it's a real word)

After a while I decided not to think of it as plans altered but instead
as mini treasures just a' waitin' for me 'round each and every corner!

First there was the morning routine

Now I am not the greatest "waker upper"  -upper here being a oxymoron

Anyway  I take a while to lift the morning fog out of my brain.
It doesn't matter how long I sleep or what time I go to bed  it is still the same
S-L-O-W   Going.

I take my coffee with a side of confusion.

For some reason this morning I forgot where the coffee pot was.
Yes you read that correctly. And you see it has been in the same spot for at lest four years.

I stumbled with one eye open   rose cheerfully and headed of to  the kitchen
I walk this path every morning
rain or shine
6 a.m. or weekend 10 a.m
every day that ends in Y

Only this morning for some reason my body took a sharp right turn , and then a slow left curve and landed in the dining room.
  Note : there is no dining involved in this room
It has a desk, table, bookshelves, computer, 2 bulletin boards and a dog kennel
No one has ever dined in here

So I am standing in the junk room from hell dining room searching for a coffee pot

I can't find it,  shocking I know, and I can't for the life of me understand why

Is it really too much to ask after everything I do for this family to have to coffee pot be wherever I am in the first conscious seconds of my day?

Apparently so.

After about, and I kid you not, three minutes my brain is waking up one cell at a time.
Sort of like bubble wrap being popped in reverse.

I accept the cold hard fact that the coffee pot is not here, nor will anyone make it here.

"Fine", I grumble to myself.
 But now I need to get to the kitchen and I just don't know which way to go.

This morning thing is so hard!

Eventually I hear Mr. Rodger's call my name in a questioning fashion.

The other eye has sprung open.  I have a voicee to follow!!!!

I take a step forward , right into a chair.

Now who the hell left a chair in this room I think.

Oh yeah it is the computer chair  okay check

Mr. Rodgers "are you okay?"

I'm getting closer now I head to the light peering through the kitchen/dining room doorway.

I step onto the cold tile of the kitchen floor and eye the coffee pot.

Mr. Rodgers step cautiously out of my way.

He has already pushed the button and their is enough brewed for one cup
He gets to live today.

I pour my cup add my dessert creamer and move like a sloth to the living room.
This room is accurately named . We do alot of Living in here.

I wrap a blanket around me and savor the first sips of sanity.

I am transforming.
The scowl is disappearing, the fuzzy amoebas are swimming out of my eyes and I have feeling in my

Wow that was close.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

What to Believe

There has been a ton of social media explosion lately.

Unless you live under a rock, and even if you do, you can still access the Internet
and have undoubtedly seen the Kony 2010 Campaign.

It went to viral proportions in a matter of hours. 
The video produced by Invisible children is raw, invoking, and effective.

There has been much questioning and speculation on the group's finances , possible militant involvement, and effectiveness.  As I do research I become more confused rather than receive any clarity.
I have always been a researcher before getting on a ban wagon  because sometimes you get a great spot on the wagon but you fail to realize where its final destination is.

So rather than support the Kony2012  or dismiss it I have searched some articles and posted them in hopes that others will research as well.

But in today's media frenzy society where you can be a you tube rock star, ruin a life cyberbullying, or start a prayer train worldwide all in about 15 minutes; it is hard to know what is what

Seriously when the dictionary off the shelf is dismissed in favor of Wikipedia or Urban Dictionary I think sometimes we are just lazy.

I haven't come to any direct conclusions in regard to the Kony issue except this:
I believe Kony is the top canidaie for being the  devil himself.

And this is where the media . that can or cannot tell us the truth, or some of it, or none of it can really fail .
The Uganda crisis from Kony's army is sick, horrible, and very real.

We need to act on behalf of the innocent , the helpless, the voiceless.

But the debate seems to go on  Should we help through Invisible Children

What do we believe in this age of information overload?
Who do we believe?
Where do we begin?

I know one source who has always told me the truth.
One person who has always lead me forward.

I haven't always heeded the instruction .
I have veered off the path plenty
But the advice was always consistent never wavering, 
no addendum or asterisks involved.

"I was hungry and you fed me
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink
I was naked and you clothed me
I was sick and you tended to me
I was a stranger and you welcomed me
I was in prison and you visited me

Whatever you did for the least of these you did for me."

His name is Jesus
and he has always had
The Truth.

I have all the information I need

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Obvious

A good friend of mine,
 who is as funny as they come and as dependable as you need,
 blogged today on an incident that one of her children pulled a few years ago.
  You can check it out at her blog The Fence when you wnat.

But it reminded me so much of the forever statements
that I make and have made to my kids
and how those statements have evolved.

As a parent I had the general rules down.
No meant no,
 now meant now
and because "I said so" was still in fashion.

But I obviously missed a few things, 
that, well to be honest I didn't think I had to say.

For instance I apparently needed to say:

"Do NOT place your Pb&J in the VCR ( yes I'm dating myself here I know)
"We don't lick our friends"

Who knew these needed to be covered?

But apparently so.

Soon Mr. Rodgers and I would look at each other and think
"Why must I always state the obvious?"

We never got an answer .
1. because it's a rhetorical question
and 2. because we only thought it and gave each other the look.

but as months went on and our children pushed the
buttons of mass porportions obvious envelope
we did say it out loud
and LOUD

things like

" The postman does not want to see your hiney",

"Please don't put play dough in your diaper"
the ever popular

"You say hello first when the phone rings"

were all followed by the under-the-breath statement of
"Why must I state the obvious?'

In later years the obvious statements changed to things like

"Yes you do receive a 0 when you fail to turn in your homework."
"Sharing answers during a test is called cheating"

but not until they became teenagers did the  rhetorical ? change.

 You realize your kids are trying to figure out the world they live in
first it's cute
then you tire of   "stating the obvious"
graduating into
"natural consequences" and them falling a few times to catch on.

But one day it came to a halt
and the teenage brain went into overdrive

The rhetorical ? changed from
"Why must I continually state the obvious?" 
"What in the hell possessed you to do that?"

(for those of you who think "How harsh"
probably have little ones.)

My philosophy is this:

"Make all the  mistakes you want under my roof, this is where the love is"

Mistakes made and dealt with while here are lessons learned . 
The world is far less forgiving.

And the last thing I want is a kid who never experienced a consequence
 for an action until she dealt with a cop
or a financial disaster,
all while wondering why the world stopped revolving around her.

So occasionally when Happy Mouth or Rollercoaster pull something like

answering the phone when driving
leaving the popcorn popping on the stove when they are showering
using dish soap in the washing machine
(my personal favorite and a WHOLE nother story)

"I'll just google it, it knows more than you any way"
Yes you read that right , and she is still alive.

I give a good ole' mama shout out  that goes something like this:

"WHAT in t-h-e-  HELL possessed you to do THAT????"
emphasis mine

It just fits.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


We are back from our Christmas vacation. I will post pictures soon
I am headed for my annual scrapbook weekend  with 3 of my best friends
This is a 14 year running tradition  and a much welcome and needed weekend of laughter and peace

regular posting will begin soon  and I would like to thank my family for providing me with so much material in which to write about!!!!