Stuff to know

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The days of my life

I'm feeling sassy, so I am delving into an area I normally don't
(except for the occasional let's debate with my DC cuz-but that's another story)


I am not about to shove anything down your throat or even directly express my opinion
I'm just going to tell you about "a day in my life"

In the past 24 hours I have done a few things

In the house:

I have made dinner, breakfast and lunch
 cleaned up a kitchen, swept 3 floors
Done 4 loads of laundry -all put up I might add
Shocked the pool, fed the cats, cleaned out my car
watered flowers

In my office:

I have called on a family member,
 checked my email,
 texted answers to emergency ?'s :
 is my blue shirt clean?,
can I have $5.00,
can you check me out I am so bored!!
what is for dinner?

you know the text that make me so glad I gave them phones

I have
signed permission slips
returned phone calls from schools,

I made financial decision:

booked a dorm room for my graduate
Looked at comforter sets,
started a to buy and budget for college
lowered the spending cash
planned meals and grocery budget
opened mail and gone over bills

and I have done a few more things too

Attended a board meeting
Made decision on a non profit endeavour
Delivered items to schools
Purchased water for fundraisers
Driven children to school and back

I have also done some things that don't really fit on a list but have great value when done over and over

I have watched my child do a first time thing at school- and excited to see her get out of bounds with herself. 
She was on the announcement!!  CNN will call any day!

I have nursed a headache from another child

Aided in homework and discussed plans for the future with another child

I have been busy raising children, sweet children I love

I have also gotten grouchy with my spouse (imagine....)
Held my tongue ( I surely have almost bitten it off) and gone through the cycle of
conviction and forgiveness

That takes lots of energy-believe me

I have taken my multi vitamins, ran 3 miles, and tried a new smoothie drink
I have read my Bible, read a chapter of a book, and called my mother

So what is the big deal about all this work, you say?

Okay here is the punch line:  I wasn't paid
not a red cent, no compensation package,
no tangible perks like a Vegas weekend  or a car allowance

I don't expect any of that .
 Knew it wasn't part of the deal.
I am good with that.

But you see this is one day of my life
The day with all that WORK in it and it is only 4 o'clock

So.......... what does this mean?

According to the latest political statements, this makes me "Ann Romney",

My life is filled with days "I never worked " in my life

and guess what I'm good with that too.

Told you I was feeling sassy!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Easter Hopes

He Is Risen!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
 My tribe  was especially blessed because we were able to see my best friend Mamaricecake 's son be baptized
 It was awesome.

Now my family has a long history of church stories.
They are not really what you are thinking. 
Some of you may be picturing angelic children
 holding the hands of the wisest elders in Holy union
as they make a joyous noise unto the Lord that caused  the Host of Heaven to weep.

Think again my friends.             Think again

My family history of unexpected , inappropriate yet hilarious moments is 4 generations strong.

The earliest one I can remember is of my great grandmother
 called Ma Ruth, my Nana, my mother and her siblings
 arriving to church late and literally busting open the door.
 Needless to say a few heads turned and
alas the only seating was in the front two rows.

Ultra convenient.

As if that wasn't enough ,my mother lost her earring
 in the pew bringing fits of laughter to her  cousin and sister .
Ma Ruth not so much.

There was as much shoulder shaking from holding in laughter as their were thigh pinches and stern looks.

There have been other incidents.
A small fire incident on Christmas Eve,
a child imitating the song leader
and a thunderous break of wind from Ma Ruth herself.

My all time favorite though has to be when we were
 visiting my mother's church in Houston.
 They normally have a children's sermon
where the children are gathered up front with the pastor to hear a short story.

When they called for the children up front
Mom and I both thought it was for the children's sermon.

As the children approached the alter
they were placed by height into 3 neat rows.

"That's different" my mom said.
 I just shrugged my shoulders and waved at my beauties!

Then the music minister stands up and starts directing the singing.

What  singing you ask?

The singing coming from all the children on stage!!!!

My mom and I freeze
and slowly look at each other as the uncommon rehearsed song pours out of the children's mouths.

My kids are puppy dogged eyed and mortified.

My mom and I can not stop laughing.

The song goes on Rollercoaster looks like she could melt into a puddle as quick as the wicked witch of the west . 

Happy Mouth is moving her lips and I think she is singing "Watermelon, watermelon, Jesus, watermelon."

Oh my gosh I now have tears pouring down my face!!
I can not look at my mom.

I can hear her trying not to laugh and she is sniveling like hyena with bronchitis.

People  are now starting to notice-
not my kids
but us.

We are so obnoxious at this point
that I am sure that the "I-got -it-together " informed parents are just flat pissed off.

About the time we calm down it gets better........

M poor babies, only age 6 and 4 ,
are at a total loss
 when the microphone gets passed to them!!!!!
I kid you not.
 They start passing the microphone down the row and each child says a part

I have now wet my pants and owe the church a pew cleaning.

Rollercoaster is handed the microphone.

She looks at it , looks  at me and shakes her head in a
"NO WAY TODAY " fashion.

She passes it on.

This only infects my mother with more uncontrollable hysterics.

Finally it is  Happy Mouth's turn--and she delivers-

Not only does she take the microphone but she sings-- LOUDLY

"Jesus, watermelon, Jesus, I love you, watermelon."

I can no longer see, my eyes simply won't open.

Someone eventually has to pull the microphone out of her hand!!!

The pint size choir finishes
and we are shot a look from Rollercoaster that is undeniably a death threat.

Oh my !! My abs are hurting from laughter just recalling that story.

But this Easter I added my own episode to the mix

Let me set the stage:  We were sitting in the balcony, slanted stadium style seating

As we were praising ,
I had my eyes closed and my hand lifted.

I must have moved forward without knowing
it because my right foot fell into
the gap between my flooring and the pew in front of me,.

I was so startled that I  let out  a "yelp".

 Nice high pitch "yelp"
Heads turned.

Thank goodness I didn't fall
thanks to the quick reflexes of Mr. Rodgers.
He grabbed my other arm just in time.

As I turn back to him he has this look on his face like

"What are you doing?"

I have seen this look before

Many, many times.
Many , many , many times......

It got me so tickled that I had to turn away.

Rollercoaster and Happy mouth are now staring at me.
Happy Mouth cracks a smile and tries to keep on singing.

Rollercoaster is just disgusted.

She has a look on her face that reminds me of a looney tunes character.

Sylvester the cat, the one always after tweety bird,
has a son who is vehemently ashamed of him and just wants to know
"Why oh why cant he be like other fathers?"

This is the look Rollercoaster is giving me.

She is thinking:
 "Why , oh why must every 11 seconds of my life be filled with the embarrassing truth that you are my mother?"

This only makes me laugh harder.

I can not sing,
I can not breathe
I can only scoot to the end of pew and run for the ladies room.