Critters

A throwback Thursday

The sun is just beginning to peak over the trees this morning of our big mountain trip.

It seems like we have been planning this forever.

 This is our first grown up all-by-ourselves vacation

(Minus the weekend get away at camp) since we have been married.

Once every 14 years I say!!

We are not taking relatives.

We are not visiting relatives. 

We are just traveling just the 5 of us to an adventure through the smoky mountains.

Going to sleep in a real live hotel!!! Whoo hoo!!

Now some of you may be thinking this is way overdue

Yes… Yes  it is. But it was either this or the bills that had to be overdue.

So bills are paid and we are off.

It is possible we will be close to broke,

as in no liquid assists for a while,

when we get home but we will be mountainside!!!

And by that I mean we may have to become

 mountaineers and live off the land as we drain the savings.

But in the words of Scarlett O Hara:

 “Ill worry about that tomorrow (or next month)

At 5 a.m. the alarm went off and our oldest was already up and ready to fly out the door. 

I on the other hand was just stumbling to the kitchen to the coffee pot.

Thank goodness Marc had set it all up the night before

 and all I had to do was push a button.

Some of my worst mornings have come when Marc fails

 to complete this step as part of his nightly routine

In this event I usually find myself fiddling with the filters,

and trying not to have a heart attack as the grinder pulverizes the beans into dust.

 Then I half  hazardly pour the water into a two inch opening while my left eye attempts to twitch open.

As I stare into space awaiting the 3 beeps

that signal caffeine completion my pulse begins to recover from

the bean mutilation machine

I am still in such a state of confusion that I fail

 to notice the enormity of coffee grounds in my coffee cup.

But as I sip my already prepped coffee this morning

 I am somewhat perky and excited about our road trip.

  I hear a slight stirring in the next room and

 I assume it is Mr. Rodgers and go to greet him.

However it is not Mr. Rodgers

It is in fact the largest horsefly in North America.

If you have never had the pleasure of seeing a southern horsefly you are blessed.

I believe they are the Alabamian curse for participation in the confederacy.

They arrive every May and the BITE

The only relief comes when the dragonflies swoon in 3 weeks later to devour the beasts.

Ahhhh circle of life.

The only thing worse I have ever experienced came in the summer of 2000

when the 17 year locusts came out in literal Biblical proportions. 

But that’s another story.

I guess each region has its own quirks. 

Once Mr. Rodgers came back from South Carolina

 with his legs all bitten up from some critter.

“What in the world got you “I asked?

“I don’t know I never saw them”

“Excuse me?’

“Really, I asked the local boys what the heck was making me itch so badly because I couldn’t see them.’

“They all replied ‘We know and they will eat you up.’”

I told them “I obviously knew that but what –are-they-called?”(Silly south Carloiners)

They said “Noseeums”

Now wanting to engage in intellectual dialogue at all times

and being blonder than I pay to be I replied:

“Oh is that Lithuanian?”

My husband just shook his head very slowly and said

“They are called “NO-SEE-UMS” because you don’t see um!!”

Oh got it.

Gotta love local flavor.

  Wonder what lexical wonders we will encounter in the mountains?”

What do you have from your neck of the woods?

Provide definitions please!!