Stuff to know

Sunday, May 8, 2011

It's Mama's Day

Today is Mother's Day.

Which mean different things to different people.

To Hallmark it means a huge profit and the fantasy that children everywhere are spoiling their mama's rotten with joyful service and precsious confession of gratitude.

To those of us who live in Realityville it means something entirely different

Let me give you a few excerpts from various mothers I am friends with

 Has had to put on her disciplinarian cap lately and dealing with hitting, biting, wads of gum in hair, lost articles of clothing and lying. One would think that today would be a "break" for dear old mom.

Alas, it was not to be, as today MamaRice became the mother of a "felon". One of her four angels confessed to stealing his best friend and his best friend's brothers allowance. 

So much for the break.

But it is okay -just another opportunity God has provided my friend with using her "mama" skills to knock the life of crime right out of him.

That is one ricecake who will know the 8th and 9th Commandment by heart very soon.

Scorpion mama-
had to plan her own Mother's Day outing because the testosterone village she lives in can't pick a restaurant or wrap a gift with out an Act of Congress having a  unanimous vote.

  She daily wishes for scorpions in her shoes so she can get a free trip to the hospital where she will not have to make a decision while in a coma.

Stab-me-now mama-
has discovered lice in one of her children and is presently shampooing the entire family with $60 worth of rid.
 And as a bonus she will be doing approximately 42 loads of laundry.

 Her husband has wisely put away all sharp objects-
( I mean seriously if she checks out, he is stuck with laundry)

and last but certainly not least is

Sugar mama-
Who is still just naive enough to buy into the Hallmark card commercials while visions of sugar plums dance in her head. 

She downed 2 shots of vodka and finished off the kid's Easter candy as she cleared, washed and put away all the items she had laid out, marinated, chopped or peeled for her man to "cook" her dinner.

My day was pretty much like every other day.

 Not perfect, but good.

 Scheduled, but interrupted.

We headed for church.
 All was well     (hmmm... a clue here?)

I was sporting a spaghetti strap long dress that I had bought for my oldest to where to Africa (that story later)
We got to ride in the vehicle with air conditioning!
 ( I am so spoiled!!!)

About half way there , Rollercoaster starts crying.
Mumbling something about
 "not feeling well".               "my head hurts",            "I tried to tell you"-

So I ask " Do we need to go home, honey?"

"I don't know" she replies.

 balls in my court.
 I know she doesn't want to make everyone go home

"We will go home", I say.
So home we go. Church not to be today.
No worries. 

Rollercoaster takes 2 IB and heads to bed. 

In the meantime Forrest is now wanting to know if a friend can come over.
"No". I say "Everyone is at church (okay NOT everyone) and it's Mothers Day."
"So what?" she says" Does it have to be Mother's Day all day?"

"Yes." I smile" It does"

Happy Mouth who has not given me a gift or card does acknowledge me and say "Happy Mother's Day.
 I posted on your Facebook. "  

 I have been publicly acknowledged and praised and as a bonus- she is signing her name to the deal!!!
I looked it up, it's there-Oh yeah!!

Mr. Rogers then asked me if I want to go to Lowe's to buy a new toilet seat because ours is cracked.

Wow, what an offer!!
 And from the man who just gave me a card declaring I was his whole life.

 I guess that mean all- the good the bad and the crappy.

"Sure " I say, "How romantic"

Rollercoaster has emerged just in time to ask if we can by the new Harry Potter on DVD because
"That would be fun for Mothers Day" 

I smile

"Plus", she adds " I beat you in Rummy , remember? You owe me a movie?"

Sweet , sweet darling how you have the strengt  to collect with such searing pain in your head I will never know.

 Rest now, you brave young thing.

So one  toilet seat, Harry Potter  DVD  and a phone call to my mom, teaching her how to use her iPhone(such another story) and  I am satisfied with today.

I ate a delicious meal prepared by my man,
watched a movie with Rollercoaster,
 tucked in Forrest
 and waited up for Happy Mouth to make it home safely. 

Yes I will lie down in peace and joy tonight;
ever grateful that My God has thought enough of me to grant me such kindnesses as these 3.

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